Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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