They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
