I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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