what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
