My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
