I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I don't think brook has ever known best
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
