I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
3pm strippers are depressing
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
