We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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