Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
