i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I need help removing her.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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