The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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