why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
