just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
