i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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