Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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