all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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