1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
