I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
