sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
