i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
