She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
