im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
