lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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