you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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