You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
