The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
