we're blogging at a bar
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
