You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
