I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
