How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he's single and there are thong briefs.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
