There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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