i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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