I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
