How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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