found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
