yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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