Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize