My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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