Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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