I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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