the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's never too late to be topless.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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