they need to just BURY HIM!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
