Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Boobs are out for the taking
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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