is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
