Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
