I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
