He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
