A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
