Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I love having hate sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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