I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
