The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
