3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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